I Regret Marrying an Old Man, I Did It Because Poverty Was Too Much and I Had No One to Help Me – Woman Cries Out

A Kenyan woman named Deborah has gone viral after sharing her story and warning young ladies never to marry men older than them.

In an interview with Afrimax, Deborah opened up about her decision to marry an older man, revealing that the marriage was not out of love but necessity. She said she needed help at the time, while her husband only needed a wife.

Deborah explained that her childhood was extremely difficult — her father abandoned the family, leaving her mother to raise her alone.

she said: “The moment that my dad went away, I felt like my life was shattered that time i asked myself why my father decided to leave at that moment when i need him the most…… I felt like my father did not want the burden of educating a child and it was so bad on my side and my mom saw that my dad had left and she knew i was the best child.

“I was the brightest child in the school and she could not afford seeing me stay back at home only because i did not have school fees, so my mum decided to go and hustle somewhere so she could take me to high school.

According to her, she stayed at a church while her mother was away for work. She explained that she felt completely comfortable and had a deep trust in the church’s leadership, unaware that they planned to take advantage of her vulnerable situation.

She went on to reveal how her pastor took advantage of her at the age of 13 she said: “He took advantage of my situation he told me like i know your step dad is gone and your mom doesn’t have money to take you to high school I want to be int__mate with you so that I can support you at that young age I was like is this the type of life that we live in this world…… because this is just a man of God.

“I have grown knowing him as a man of God but as of that age I was only 13 he wanted to take advange of me but i thank God he could not do that because the moment he was about to rape me someone entered the room and i was rescued and that thing really shattered by dreamsI could not tell anyone …… now i am a grown up person.

“Because at that time (13) I felt like i was in a isolated position I was so traumatized, I was grown up being beaten not having to tell anyone my problems and my story so I kept that thing to myself.

“I remember the first thing that happened to me when i finished my high school is i went to bury my sister, our third born actually she died when i was doing my exams but they waited for me after I had finished my exams

“And then my sister had promised me that she would connect me with her friends who would give me jobs and she would support me because i am a gospel artist so she would support also my music career…… so the first thing that happened to me after i finished my form 4 that sister that promised a lot to me died and It was so hard me going home to bury my sister was the most painful part.

According to Deborah, when she turned 19, she was pressured into marrying a much older man as a way to escape the harsh realities of poverty and with the hope that it might help her pursue her dreams.

She revealed that the arrangement was orchestrated by her pastor, who invited her to meet them at a location she believed was for something important. However, upon arriving, she was surprised to see her distant cousin, the pastor himself, and a tall, heavily built man whom she had never met before.

She added: “For me it was like they are just people I dont know if there is something or a hidden agenda at that place so for me it was these are just people …… The pastor has called me he had something important or maybe he had gotten a job job opportunity …… so me arriving at that home I met those people and they welcomed me well there was a meal and they have me food i ate and this distant cousin leaved so we talked a little and now this pastor started talking about the main agenda why he called me there

“He told me ‘mora’ this guy is my brother I came to understand that he was my Ex-husband cousin.. He continued that this guy is a very good person but he had married a wife the wife was so bad, the wife went away she was a very bad woman so this guy wants a wife so if you could agree to get married to this person, he would support whatever that you want to do and i remembered that time, the only help that i wanted was for me to go to university and to remove document from school

“Because i remember when i was going to pick my document in school, I lost my money in the bus So i don’t have my documents yet and so the pastor said that he would also support your musical career he will help you go to studio and record your songs and i was so happy i felt like help has come and he told me he is only going to do that If you will agree to get married to him.

“And you see at that time, I can say that being young, naive and when you come from a poor family there is nothing you can reason as a person and sometimes girls are very disadvantaged when they need to chase their dreams because if you do not have that help you will get people that you would want to use you so that you can get that help…. and in most cases, this people would never help you achieve your dreams and that is the environment i found myself in

“From then I was actually very scared because this guy was tall huge and i came to learn that he was 43years old and at that time i was 19yrs old and i went back to my mom and told her the pastor has told me this and this and i have met this person he has told me if i could agree and get married to these guy they are going to help me in so many ways they are going to help me achieve my dreams in so many ways

“My mom told me you know you have seen how life has been hard on our side you have seen your sister struggling maybe if you go to this place you are going to help us go and maybe you are going to help us

“I believed at that time, my mom had no bad intention, my mom believed that whenever help comes that is where i should be and she told me just go if you see it is a good idea and you feel like that is where you are going to see help, Just go.

“And i remember i came back and i communicated with that pastor and i packed my things and took myself there no one came for me it was not even ceremonial like they are coming to see your parents no i was in problems, i wanted help and i am going to look for help in that place no one came for me, I took myself there.

“When i met this guy, I did not love him and he did not love me back it was marriage that came out because of circumstances we just met because of circumstances, he needed a wife and I needed a help so there was no love

How the marriage was for her, she added: “I remember this guy was a truck driver, I did not stay with him for the longest time he left with his people he left me with his relatives at home he took me to his home place in western part of kenya and left me there and i remember the environment was so hostile before the guy left i remembered i had seen so many things that have been going on that i felt like those things were not good and that is the time that i saw myself in a very big problem I believed that i have made a very huge blunder going to that place

“Because that guy became so ignorant he did not care about how i feel where i am he could not even walk with me because you see i was a very young slender girl I was so slender and he was huge so maybe people would tell him why are you walking with your child so i feel like at that time, he was very ashamed I was just a young girl so he was huge and tall and was that old so i feel like that person was ashamed even of my company

“So I remeber two or three weeks later that I got into that home, I wanted to leave because the life that i expected to live there was not the one I found there I FELT like no i have made a very big mistake I want to go back to my mom place

“But something happened, I found out that I was pregnant and being pregnant made me sad because I could not go bad to my mom place I have seen my mom struggling to raise us to provide for us and where am i taking a burden to her I decided to stay because i was pregnant and the environment was so bad and i felt a lot of rejection in that home even the mothers, sisters everyone i feel like they did not love me in that home, I felt like I was alone in that home I come from a certian tribe and you are in another tribe…… You are the only person in that home who speaks this language so they do not understand yo and they cannot understand me because of what I have gone through in life, I have seen a lot and i felt that no one could understand me at that moment.

“So my husband left i was left with the relatives ….. the pastor later came and picked me from that rural home and took me to a nearest town center again to stay with a relative and the husband was never at home ……. My husband was a truck driver so he could not even stay at home I remember even i a year we could meet 3 times and if he comes three months he would just come like he comes today, he sleeps that one day and he goes. He would go for another 3months he was not even staying with me he did not know how i was doing everything i handled it by myself and i remembered i carried my pregnancy alone with the people that he left me to stay with were so cruel when i sit down and remeber those days i always cry because wither i could leave my basin outside you would find that they have broken the basin from no where me i was that girl who could not even speak, I do not want any problem with anyone I was always on my own but this people were so harsh.

See below…………