There have been reports of domestic violence and deaths in marriages, have you been a victim of assault?
This question reminds me of my late elder sister. She had experienced violence in her marriage and that’s what killed her. Even the Bimbo IVD’s story reminds me of her. It’s crazy how people take this marriage stuff, how people go through some deep crazy stuff with a man. It is better to be a lesbian than go through all these domestic violence with a man. You’d give a man your whole life? No, I can’t do that. Never! I’ve never gone through domestic violence and no man can make me go through that. If I’m dating you and I notice one toxic attitude, I’m out of the relationship. And I’ll start dating someone else in the next few weeks. That’s one thing I love Tiannah Empire for. She keeps changing men as long as it makes her happy, and that’s the kind of life I’m living.
I almost married a man. We had done our introduction and engagement, and because we had done all those things, he started exhibiting some nastiness. And I say ‘oga, I will dump you right away; you are not the only man in this world’. I know how to run. I don’t care about what people will say. I will dump you and move on to the next relationship.
What would you do if you notice traces of violence in a man you love so dearly?
I’m too special, I’m too intelligent, and I’m too lovely to experience that with anybody. One thing about me is that, if I’m with you and I find out that you are a violent or temperamental person, I’ll walk away. I know when to walk away, I know when to run away and that is what I thank God for.
Just days ago, I was reading Bimbo’s story again and I was just crying. It’s crazy how a woman wakes up, starts dating a man and decides to give her whole life to him through marriage, yet the same man will start doing some crazy, dangerous and stupid things. If you like, be the most beautiful woman in the world, your man will still cheat on you. As long as I have that in my head, I will never allow any man to go violent with me.
What’s your advice to women who find themselves with men of such character?
My advice to anyone going through domestic violence is to dump that marriage and run! The truth is that if you don’t run, you are going to die in that marriage. Look at all the stories you’ve heard about domestic violence, what does it lead to? The painful part of it is that the women are the ones that will die because we are fragile. If you are going through domestic violence, run! Leave that marriage or relationship. That person is not the only person in the world. I think one problem most women face, including my late elder sister is, ‘how am I going to start all over again? I’ve given this person my life.’ What will people say?’ These are some of the problems women face.
Do you think domestic violence has negative impact on our young girls?
A lot of women out there are scared of marriage, and I also think some of them are victims of domestic violence. For instance, Blessing CEO that is always giving counseling, is also a victim of domestic violence. So, most of them are scared. Even me, I’m scared of this thing called marriage. I think I’m just going to have babies and live my life because it’s crazy. What I want right now is a rich guy, have one or three babies for him and continue enjoying my life.
Is domestic violence part of the reasons you’re single?
Domestic violence is not part of the reasons I’m scared of marriage, but no man can be violent with me. You can’t! I will not allow you. I am educated, smart, brilliant, beautiful and talented; I will not allow you. I am not one of those women that will allow one man to be violent with them. But with these crazy stories flying everywhere, I’m just scared (of marriage). What I want now is to have a very rich man, have babies for him and just live my life. But if by the grace of God I get married, he can’t be violent with me. I’m going to lock him up. I’m going to deal with him afterwards. While we are dating, I will push you to see the level of your anger. If I find out that you are temperamental, just by finding out alone, I’m out. You won’t see me again. I’ll leave that city, change my number; I know how to do those things.
What makes you unique in Nollywood?
I kind of feel it’s my personality. Even my fans, when I see them on the road, they say things like, ‘I love your personality, your humility’. I think it’s my humility. Apart from my figure and my lovely boobs, I believe my personality and character stand me out. I’m a very humble person. I don’t take life too seriously. I don’t rush anything or force anything. I just wake up, do my prayers, take my tea and just relax. If it’s happening, fine and if it’s not, fine. I take things one step at a time. I’m not desperate. I relax and do what I have to do. I think that makes me different.
Can you marry a colleague of yours?
No, I will never marry an actor.
What would you do if you catch your partner pants down, cheating?
If I happen to catch my husband cheating, I won’t leave the marriage. My late father told me that men are polygamous in nature, but you may be lucky to find one who will not rub it in your face. If I catch him cheating, it’s okay. We will sit down and talk about it, because to be honest with you, every man cheats, even including pastors, reverend fathers. My girlfriend used to say, ‘Ruth, your kind of mind is what is needed to go through life’. There is no man that is faithful. I have seen a man cheating a day to his wedding day. He was going to wed the following day and they caught him pants down with his girlfriend. I feel it’s their nature, so I will not leave a man because he cheats, but I will leave a man when I see that he’s temperamental, violent or toxic for my energy. But if it’s cheating, I will not leave the man.
What of he marries a second wife?
If I’m there and he marries another wife, I will just go and get my own house and gather my life together. I will not leave the marriage. I will not leave my husband because I catch him cheating. There are too many women in this world. So, if you cheat, life goes on.
The POP of your house recently collapsed, putting you at risk, how did that happen?
Well, I narrowly escaped death. God saved my life. I just finished building, packed in and the POP in my house just fell off. I really thank God for that, because I left the house a couple of minutes before it happened. God saved my life within 10 minutes. I stopped by the roadside and told my P.A to return to the house to get me something. Then, he went and saw that the POP has collapsed.
How do you find time to relax amidst the busy schedule?
I find time to relax, make myself happy because it’s one life. Life doesn’t have a duplicate. So, I find time to relax and do things that make me happy, like watching a movie, and hanging out with friends.